In which this blog regains a purpose

I know, I know.  I've been away for an incredibly long time.  I won't waste you time trying to explain away my absence.  Instead, I'd like to explain to you why this blog finally has a purpose again.

In the past, this blog was meant to compare to the travelogues of my close friends, who studied abroad during spring of 2012.  However, as a busy college chemistry major, it was difficult to find either the willpower or an interesting topic with which to update my blog.  Over the summer, pure laziness overcame my desire to tell the world about my life.  A sort of extreme lethargy devoured my soul from May into August, prompted in part the high-energy semester that preceded the summer.

But now, after an additional semester of applications (the Fulbright along with nine different graduate schools) and stress, I find myself with news that I'm eager to tell the world.  My blog has a purpose.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that it is time for me to travel abroad and explore the world, push myself to the limit, and try not to die while in Europe.  Yeah, that Fulbright scholarship I applied for?  Totally got it!

So next year will be spent in the City of Light.  That is, I will spend a year in Jena, Germany studying under Dr. Hans-Dieter Arndt in his chemical biology lab.

Wow.  Talk about amazing!  And terrifying.  Lots of the terrifying.  I'm going to a country that speaks a different language for an entire year.  By myself.  Away from my family and everything I've known.  And I'm so damn excited.

So until I leave the country on August 2nd, 2013, I will endeavor to get back in the habit of writing in this blog.  Or maybe simply start updating it, because I really was never very good at that.  Either way, blog posts!  pictures! and stories! Oh my!

Get excited.  This is going to be fun.

Witty Title Pending

Once again a large amount of time has lapsed between my updates.  It's like I have a life, right??  I figured it was time to update with a short list of what this summer has involved.

Let's start back in May, shall we?

MAY:
-  Annelise completes her finals  (Hallelujah chorus spontaneously breaks forth on Denison's academic quad as she leaves Ebaugh and her junior year of college behind)
-  Annelise then returns to campus after a short 4-5 days home with the parental units
-  Annelise returns to Ebaugh to begin summer research with Dr. Joseph Reczek (Henceforth, Dr. Joe, Joe, or DJ)
-  Annelise tries to keep newbies from destroying the lab
-  There is a gas leak on campus causing everyone in lab to leave for a frozen custard trip

JUNE:
-  Annelise continues to research
-  Annnelise prepares for her trip to Israel, Greece, and Rome
-  Team Kenny shenanigans occur, including a dinner with the whole fam (minus one lady who is still in Europe) and other little get-togethers
-  Israel shenanigans begin; summer research is put on hold

JULY:
-  Israel, Greece, and Rome get checked off of the "Never Been To" list
-  Research resumes
-  Annelise becomes more and more annoyed with her fellow labmates
-  Dark Knight Rises comes out; Team Kenny goes out to see it; film receives mixed reviews from the Team

AUGUST:
-  Research finishes
-  Annelise goes home
-  Sister and brother-in-law visit
-  Annelise updates her blog

Overall, my summer was dull (See: summer research) punctuated with moments of awesome (See: Israel trip, Rome visit, etc.), but enough about me!  Since this blog's original purpose is essentially defunct due to the return of the remainder of the Team studying abroad, I must somehow re-purpose this internet space.  Shall I muse on the mysteries of life?  Shall I entertain you with my shining wit?  At this point, I'm not sure.  If I ever update again, perhaps you'll find out.  Or maybe I'll just ramble as I always do.

Wait and see, internet.  You might find out eventually.

You keep saying that word...

Environmental justice.  Nope, doesn't mean what you think...

Trust me.

Begin rant.

I'm taking a semester long class on this subject.  I thought it would talk about the rules and regulations that govern the environment, the EPA, the world.

NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

It's all about making white people feel bad.  I have no problem with this.  Really.  White people need to be reminded on a regular basis that they've seriously screwed up the world and, therefore, have some responsibility for cleaning it up.  You make a mess, you clean it up.  Universal truth.

But a whole semester? REALLY? Additionally, this class is just preaching to the choir.  It's full of environmentally minded people, who think the USA needs to step up and help out with climate change, etc.  We agree that climate change sucks.  Now can we pretty please with sugar on top do something about it?

Overall, the past semester was an interesting dichotomy between pessimism and optimism.

Political science taught me pessimism but in the best way possible.  I promise it's not as bad as it sounds.

Okay, I lied, but I told you I did that.  Didn't I?  I think I did.  Now I've told you.  I lie.  Frequently.  Especially in my blog posts.  Kidding, kidding!

Or am I?

Anyway, my political science professor spoke a lot about the importance of realizing the consequences of actions.  This surfaced in our study of many different times, but I'll focus on the Interwar period, which is the period of time in the 19th century before WWI during which there were no systemic wars.  Systemic war here means global conflict, where global refers to the main states in power at the time.  State means country.  Have I confused you yet?

Here's where I'll generalize a bit.  More than I usually do, that is.

Liberals say the interwar period gives us an example of interstate cooperation, where norms of society crossed the boundaries of states and gave us lasting peace.  Realists say that peace was a rational decision by the leaders of the states.  Not cooperation, but rational choice to avoid death/pain/destruction and the dangerous ideals that Napoleon had spread throughout the Napoleonic wars (1799-1815, I believe).  Creative name for the war, huh?  Historians couldn't come up with something cool like the War of the Roses or the War to End All Wars.  Nope.  The Napoleonic Wars.  Gee, wonder who fought in that.  Hitler?

Oh boy, ladies and gentlemen!  My blog's first (and now second) Hitler reference.  How exciting.

Realists frequently focus on RATIONAL choice.  Since the international system is anarchic, states have no opportunity for cooperation.  Instead, rational choices dictate the actions of states.  The goal of a state is to be more powerful and more secure than any of the surrounding states.  Liberal theory focuses on shared norms and the power of ideas (Dr. Pletcher, please don't kill me for these generalizations.  I know there's a lot more detail that goes into each of these)  This plays out in politics as liberal talk and realist thinking (An article by John Mearsheimer of a similar name can be found here).  That is, people say they believe in cooperation but act as though everyone is out to get them.  Perfect example?  The U.S. spy drone found in Iran.

Again, people.  These are generalizations.  I could debate specifics, but this is an easy example to exploit.

Obama asks for the drone back, implying that Iran and the U.S. will cooperate because of international norms that say, "If someone drops something in your territory, be nice and give it back."  However, this ignores the fact that IT'S A SPY DRONE.  Yes, the U.S. is spying on Iran.  Big surprise.  We're watching Iran to see when they become nuclear capable (gasp).  Despite the U.S. proclaimed belief that we work towards peace, we anticipate war and work to be more powerful than Iran in case of it.

Political science, thus, made me focus on the realist aspects of politics and international relations as a liberal perspective can often be short-sighted and leave states flat-footed (AC -5 for you DnD nerds) when war does happen.

In contrast, environmental justice stressed the need for cooperation.  Mainly, the U.S.'s cooperation with the rest of the world.  Color me not surprised in the slightest.  Everyone in the environmental justice course stressed how cooperation was possible, progress could be made with compromise, and lots of other flowery kumbaya goodness.

I felt really bad when I constantly played devil's advocate, stressing the environmental changes needed to be realistic and somehow benefit or compensate the U.S. instead of trusting in American kindness and goodness.

Am I a bad person?

Possibly, but not for that reason.

End rant.

Maybe my next post will be less rage filled.

Unlikely.  I will try to add in some more jokes though.

Toodles, peeps!

One month (plus some)...so much done!

Author's Note: I wrote this post around Spring Break but never finished/posted it...So it's going up now! Yay, late posts!

***

I know, I know.  I never update this damn thing.

But that's life, right?  I mean, I really try, but this thing called homework comes out of nowhere sucks out my soul and makes me want to cry and write really bad poetry.

I suppose I could write the poetry in this blog just to make ya'll REALLY regret subscribing to it.

Ode to a sunny sky

Oh Sun!  Lo!
I see you shine!
I see your light
but it never touches
my bare skin or
my face or
my nose,
Oh, I guess that's my
face, too.

SUN.  I never see you.
Don't you love me?
I, who am paler than the palest
pale that ever paled,
am in my beloved Ebaugh all day
I cannot even begin to
list all the times
I wished I'd been
outside but had
instead been inside
in lab.

WHY can you not shine indoors
as bright as you
do outdoors?
Lo! Lo! Hi! Lo!
ANGSTANGST
ANGST ANGSTTTTTTTT
ANGST ANGST.

Lo.

There.  Wasn't that lovely?  I'm quite proud (coughlyingcough) of that poem there.  It only makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth.  Just a little.

So what's been going on at DU, you ask?  Lots of stuff.

Naked week happened about two weeks before Spring Break (Which I am currently on.  More on that later).  While I didn't run, several of the people from Team Kenny decided to run.  Good for them!  I just prefer to keep everyone's dangly bits safely tucked away in clothing.  Someone in the Bullsheet summed this up nicely by saying something like "I just have this horrible feeling that when I'm standing watching and the naked people run by that we'll suddenly land in a giant pile of naked limbs of which I will be at the bottom."  I probably quoted that horribly, but the general jist of the quote is still there. AHH, NAKED PEOPLE.

That was also the week from HELL.  I had to write three lab reports in one week, which meant that I slept very, very, very little.  The Team went to go see the Lorax that weekend and my proudest accomplishment was NOT falling asleep during the movie.  The Lorax was cute and adorable.  The soundtrack was awesome, but I was miffed that they used the Lorax to try and sell cars right before the movie. HELLO?  THIS IS THE FREAKING LORAX.  He speaks for the TREES, not the OIL COMPANIES.

*Sigh*  Not that anyone listens to me.  The next week was slightly better just populated with copious amounts of writing and midterms and other silly school stuff.  NOW, it's spring break.  Yeah, California!  My week has been absolutely amazing and absolutely sucky.  The good stuff has been the large quantities of sushi I've been inhaling every time I get near a sushi restaurant, the great weather (suck it, Ohio!), and time spent with home friends.  Bad things: work, work, work. Ugh.

My home friends and I are slightly obsessed with several things: Clockwork Prince (a book by Cassandra Clare), Game of Thrones books/series/board game, Doctor Who, and (of course) My Little Pony.  A couple of them are still in the barn about the MLP obsession, but --trust me -- we all love us some cute little ponies.

As a result of these obsessions, we've spent lots of time talking about all of the above and watching GoT: Season 1.  I'm four episodes in and TOTALLY head-over-heels for Jon Snow. Om nom nom...

After a week of work and play in CA, it's back to the grindstone. 7 weeks and counting...

Applications for the New Year

This is my first post of the new year and I must say I'm afraid it might tend towards the angsty side of this blog.  Which, of course, if you've been keeping track (which I know you have) means emo posts outweigh fluffy/pointless ones 2:1! 2/3 of this blog is angsty!

Hope that doesn't freak you out.  I'll find something frivolous and pony related to fill this blog with soon.  I promise.

Now to the title of this post.  Some of you may be wondering, "What applications could she possibly be working on currently?"  I realize it's too soon for graduate school applications although those are right around the corner.

I've been slaving away over my Goldwater application for the past few days.  The Goldwater is a national science scholarship for my senior year.  It would cover the rest of my school fees (up to $10000! Yikes!).  I'm also applying for the Udall, a scholarship specifically for those interested in being a scientific superhero, who wants to save the environment.  Seriously.  It's application to become a superhero.

NO, I NEVER LIE.

All these applications ask questions about my future plans and what I want to do with my life.  Despite the fact that I frequently declare that I have discovered my calling or know what I want to do for the rest of eternity, these essays always leave me groping for words.  I'm not sure words can accurately capture my goals, but I'll give it a shot.

Most people know me as an introverted chemistry nerd, who seems born and bred to spend her life in a lab, working on obscure projects to help humanity (Eventually. Mostly, it's just for the science.)  But, I promise you, that's not what I want to do.

In my weak moments, I wish I had gone to circus school like I planned.  I started dance late and aerial/circus sports even later, but they consumed my life in high school, and I wish I could go back to that.  Seeing a Cirque de Soleil show over break simply highlighted how much I miss aerial.  Most people don't realize that for my first semester at college, I was considering transferring back to a California school just so I could take aerial classes again.  I missed it that much.  I still miss aerial, but I'm tenacious (which is a polite way of saying I'm very, very stubborn).  Giving up is not programmed into my brain.  Thus, I stuck it out at Denison, starting a gymnastics club and searching for a studio that had aerial.

More frequently, I find myself longing to be actively participating in relevant research RIGHT NOW.  Screw the Ph.D.  Graduate is long and arduous, and the projects you work on are not always rewarding or particularly relevant.  I don't want to be stuck in a lab 24-7.  I want to be out doing field work, getting my hands dirty while digging around in the dirt for some scientific gold.

Of course, scholarship applications don't want to hear about your doubts or concerns.  It's all about knowing where you're going and proving to them that you have a significant plan for your life to which they should contribute.  It's hard to prove that you are significant though.  Why should they care about you?

...

How about some less angsty content for the blog?

It's the second week of the semester, and I'm already incredibly busy.  Gymnastics has started up again.  We're in the process of learning how to do a full spin around the bars (called a Giant if you know gymnastics terms).  As a result, my wrists really hurt.  You wear special wristbands and straps to keep you attached to the bars permanently.  Which is kind of terrifying honestly.  The straps mean you CAN'T LET GO unless you have a box to get onto and someone to help you out.

We're also creating a routine in which I get to do aerial!  So exciting!  This means I might get to practice aerial this whole semester!  I promise to post pictures if it comes through.

As for the school portion of life, Quantum Chemistry is exciting in that it is full of confusing and horrible homework.  Thursday night I spent a total of four hours banging my head against wall, attempting the two problems we had for homework.  Frantic text messages to my classmates revealed that I was not alone in my plight.  No, the entire class was unable to do the homework.  Good job, us.

So that's going well.

My other classes are Advanced Organic Chemistry, Environmental Justice, and Introduction to International Politics, which are all interesting but tons o' work.  I'll tell you more about them in my next blog posts.  Until then, keep on truckin'.

In which Annie complains briefly about internet speed and mostly about first world problems

Well, I'm done with the semester. Good riddance! Not that next semester will be anymore fun...but this one is done! w00t!

I was feeling particularly good today after finding out that I had done better than expected grade-wise this semester.

As a result, I thought, "Annie, it's time to reward yourself!" I logged onto Steam (a game client that provides access to several quadrillion games) to check out the Holiday sales. Steam always has the BEST sales during the holiday season. New deals every day! Up to 75% off on some items!

Needless to say, I'm glad I already bought people gifts, because, post-Steam, I was not expecting to have anything remaining in my bank account.

So, in my excursion on Steam, I perused the large selection of now heavily discounted games.

And then I saw it. Mass Effect! The game I had wanted for such a very long time! 75% off! Only $4.99! I clicked on it. And, to my dismay, realized that the deal ended in 15 seconds. So I clicked BUY! Steam sent me to the PAY NOW screen...and the game was suddenly only 50% off. Still a piddling $10 for a great game, but I was slightly indignant. Why didn't Steam let me keep the $5 version?

Mind you, I'm not REALLY whining (THIS is WHINING), but I'm still slightly miffed.

No matter! I'm nothing if not resourceful and resilient! And modest. EVER so modest.

After buying this game, I went to my Steam library to select a game to play. Mass Effect had to finish downloading so I decided to play Magicka, a game my sister and her husband had bought me during the semester, which I had not have time to play yet.

Once it loaded, I was sure that I would have tons of magicky fun and goodness to alleviate the horrible pain of those extra $5 for Mass Effect. Alas, Magicka did not work, because the animation moved about half the speed of the voiceover.

I'm going to take this opportunity to complain most grievously about internet speed. I think I should blame my laptop's own capabilities for the slowness of Magicka, but I blame the internet for not downloading Mass Effect fast enough for me to play that instead. #firstworldproblems

However, my solution to all these problems? THIS and THIS

Angst, Angst, Angst

Welcome to the non-serious blog of a chemistry major who takes herself too seriously.  I can't promise this will be profound or totally awesome, but I can promise it will be geeky, full of internet memes, and absolutely hilarious.

Or it could be full of angst.  I've yet to decide the major content of this blog.

Many of you internet surfers may be asking, "Annie, why start a blog?  You can angst by writing bad emo poetry in a corner by yourself in some dark corridor."

Well, interested blog viewer, all of my friends are leaving me alone on campus next semester as they go off to wonderful adventures abroad (Angst meter: mild).  I'm not going abroad, because I am a chemistry major, meaning my soul belongs solely to my major and my ass belongs on campus in the chem. building until I graduate.

Since I'll be stuck on campus, I decided that I should report on my super exciting life to the general public so I can at least pretend that people in this world still care about what happens to me.  You love me, don't you, Internet?? (Angst meter: high)
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We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post for this important announcement from your friendly neighborhood camel:

Hilarious. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog.
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So here starts the chronicles of my life as I try to survive all by myself while my friends are abroad.

Hold on, it's gonna be a wild ride.