Applications for the New Year

This is my first post of the new year and I must say I'm afraid it might tend towards the angsty side of this blog.  Which, of course, if you've been keeping track (which I know you have) means emo posts outweigh fluffy/pointless ones 2:1! 2/3 of this blog is angsty!

Hope that doesn't freak you out.  I'll find something frivolous and pony related to fill this blog with soon.  I promise.

Now to the title of this post.  Some of you may be wondering, "What applications could she possibly be working on currently?"  I realize it's too soon for graduate school applications although those are right around the corner.

I've been slaving away over my Goldwater application for the past few days.  The Goldwater is a national science scholarship for my senior year.  It would cover the rest of my school fees (up to $10000! Yikes!).  I'm also applying for the Udall, a scholarship specifically for those interested in being a scientific superhero, who wants to save the environment.  Seriously.  It's application to become a superhero.

NO, I NEVER LIE.

All these applications ask questions about my future plans and what I want to do with my life.  Despite the fact that I frequently declare that I have discovered my calling or know what I want to do for the rest of eternity, these essays always leave me groping for words.  I'm not sure words can accurately capture my goals, but I'll give it a shot.

Most people know me as an introverted chemistry nerd, who seems born and bred to spend her life in a lab, working on obscure projects to help humanity (Eventually. Mostly, it's just for the science.)  But, I promise you, that's not what I want to do.

In my weak moments, I wish I had gone to circus school like I planned.  I started dance late and aerial/circus sports even later, but they consumed my life in high school, and I wish I could go back to that.  Seeing a Cirque de Soleil show over break simply highlighted how much I miss aerial.  Most people don't realize that for my first semester at college, I was considering transferring back to a California school just so I could take aerial classes again.  I missed it that much.  I still miss aerial, but I'm tenacious (which is a polite way of saying I'm very, very stubborn).  Giving up is not programmed into my brain.  Thus, I stuck it out at Denison, starting a gymnastics club and searching for a studio that had aerial.

More frequently, I find myself longing to be actively participating in relevant research RIGHT NOW.  Screw the Ph.D.  Graduate is long and arduous, and the projects you work on are not always rewarding or particularly relevant.  I don't want to be stuck in a lab 24-7.  I want to be out doing field work, getting my hands dirty while digging around in the dirt for some scientific gold.

Of course, scholarship applications don't want to hear about your doubts or concerns.  It's all about knowing where you're going and proving to them that you have a significant plan for your life to which they should contribute.  It's hard to prove that you are significant though.  Why should they care about you?

...

How about some less angsty content for the blog?

It's the second week of the semester, and I'm already incredibly busy.  Gymnastics has started up again.  We're in the process of learning how to do a full spin around the bars (called a Giant if you know gymnastics terms).  As a result, my wrists really hurt.  You wear special wristbands and straps to keep you attached to the bars permanently.  Which is kind of terrifying honestly.  The straps mean you CAN'T LET GO unless you have a box to get onto and someone to help you out.

We're also creating a routine in which I get to do aerial!  So exciting!  This means I might get to practice aerial this whole semester!  I promise to post pictures if it comes through.

As for the school portion of life, Quantum Chemistry is exciting in that it is full of confusing and horrible homework.  Thursday night I spent a total of four hours banging my head against wall, attempting the two problems we had for homework.  Frantic text messages to my classmates revealed that I was not alone in my plight.  No, the entire class was unable to do the homework.  Good job, us.

So that's going well.

My other classes are Advanced Organic Chemistry, Environmental Justice, and Introduction to International Politics, which are all interesting but tons o' work.  I'll tell you more about them in my next blog posts.  Until then, keep on truckin'.